How To Dash The Muse

Duse Mash is a rhythm game made by Xi Jinpeng (HOW MANY TIMES MUST I UTTER HIS NAME) and his cohorts to enjoy music and high school girls at the same time all while getting Carpal Tunnel Syndrome on the way. Since I am an Asian loli, I am blessed with Asian powers to easily conquer this musical instrument because I have played thousands of rhythm instruments in my lifetime. I am here to bestow upon you my sacred Asian knowledge as to how I conquered this game with only one hand (Don't ask me what I use my other hand for, I'm just too good).

This is just gonna be a cute and simple guide uwu. I can't let you dethrone me now.

For starters, make sure you use a high-end headphones so you can hear every single sound samples and beats in the music. If you can't afford one, look up on Google "How to rob a PC store". Just at least wear something that is so loud, it'll deafen you from hearing your parents aggressively discussing about their divorce papers. Also, please buy the DLC, otherwise you're basically playing the paid demo version. Trust me, you REALLY want it so you can play as Hakurei Armpit.

Also I made up like 20% of the terms here because I don't know what they're actually called and I don't read guides because guides are for noobz.

Emperor's Eyes

Are the enemies moving too fast for your shitty non-Asian eyes? Tough luck lmao genetic sure is a bitch, huh? Find yourself a superior Asian wife (except Filipinos) and make sure to breed a child with superior Asian genes.

It's actually not that complicated to upgrade your eyes so you can keep up with the speed, though it takes a lots of time, just like breaking the mind of a mesugaki. Don't be a stupid nigger going straight ahead to Master difficulty, you will obviously embarrass yourself in front of your shitty 3D pig crush. Take your time getting used to the speed of the enemies, use the star difficulty scaling to keep track of how fast the enemies you can handle.

For noobz, try clearing songs with difficulty ranging from 6* to 8*. Beware of 9* in Hard difficulty because that can still rekt your ass and your ears. Just keep going until you're confident enough to try out faster songs with higher BPM.  

God's Fingers

Please use both hands when you're playing the game, there is nothing to masturbate to in this game. Ever heard of eye-to-hand coordination? Of course not because your search history is only filled with legally and morally questionable searches. Basically your hand response accordingly to what you see. For example, see loli, hand automatically holds dick. In this case, see pink enemy, hit pink enemy. Easy, right? See a barrage of enemies, hand automatically spam keyboard like a primate. That's you trying to speedrun the Parkinson's disease.

The reason why you need EMPEROR'S EYES is so you can keep up with the speed and thus able to act accordion. But what shalt thou presseth? Hmmmm idk lawl just spam. There's a reason why each beat has 2 keys binded. So you can dribble when there are a line of enemy that looks like Human Centipede (2009) approaching you fast instead of violently mashing the same key until it becomes crippled. Dribbling is different from mashing. Dribbling is pressing a sequence of keys rhythmically at a certain speed, and that speed is according to the song bpm. Mashing is just spamming both keys in an indigenous way like a single-digit IQ Tekken player who always choose Eddie.

Just keep playing songs in Hard difficulty so you can learn how to dribble in what kind of sequence. In Master and Hidden difficulty you basically have to dribble again but faster lol, and gotta keep switching between top and bottom too I think. Personally I used to practice dribbling in the song Tsukuyomi by Halv, Brain Power by NOMA, and higher BPM songs.

Gnosis State

One of the major reason why most people can't complete a song is because they're too busy looking at their character while fantasizing their questionable daydream with the character they chose instead of actually looking at what to hit. Their fantasy also gets concerningly amplified when their character does the damaged moan. Once you get past that and starts to focus more, you will enter a trance state where you are in your own world with nothing but you and the game. If you can constantly enter this state while playing the game (and not jerking off), you will be able to break free from being a lolicon and also be good in the game I guess. This takes a long time and repeated success to be able to master this shit. I don't even know if this is real lawl.

Basically just don't get distracted and wear that high-end headphones that you stole, that makes it easier to focus.

Characters

Unfortunately, all three of the main characters are high-schoolers as depicted in most of their arts. However, because the devs are also horny for them, I think it's ok for the players to lewd them too.

Did you know that the characters can also be played in the game instead of just molesting them in the home screen? They each have different use too, either for learning purpose or for showing off in different ways.

TikTok Aidoru Buro is for leveling up, maybe you want to get those lewd CGs as soon as possible because your horny or just want to show off to people that you play nothing but this game.

Sleepy Rin and Neko are good if you want to learn and master the song, albeit each in a different way. The first one is full-auto while the second one is just going undying mode.

Armpit-chan just lets you float. Serafuku Burrow changes the gamplay by a bit and also the mass of my dick. So shes not really fun to use unless you just wanna fuck around.

CBT Marija, Navi Yume, and El Kurea only makes the game easier with some cheats.

Society Buro and Succ Marija are good if you feel like putting an Asian to shame (If you can LOL) and playing for high scores (like me).

Closing note

The REAL secret to gitting gud is just KEEP PLAYING THE GAME REPEATEDLY. Keep going and reduce the amount of misses, then reduce the amount of Greats, then reduce the amount of Perfect (Early/Late). Play other songs and not just a few to get used to other patterns. The other tips mentioned above are just one of the few guides to help non-Asian people feeling less inferior in a game about lewding high school girl under the guise of being Taiko no Tatsujin high on LSD and happiness powder.

I love Buro so much I would start an anarchic riot to the lying government just like The Joker (2019) just so I can cuddle her aggressively with my dick while being wholesome.